another classic poo story...kids gotta love them

Tonight we ate dinner with Ryan's new boss. We left the house with a well fed child and a well stocked diaper bag. THANK goodness I was on my toes when packing the bag...as always my baby picks the perfect times to drop bombs.
So as soon as we sit down in the resturant I can tell Reese is creating a lovely package for me to clean up. Eyes are watering, face is red, classic signs. Knowing how she operates I wait about 2 minutes after she stops grunting, never take the diaper off too early (This reminds me of her first day of daycare..they took the diaper off too early and she pooped on another kid). So I wait the appropriate time limit and go to change her. As I unbuckle her car seat I can see I am in for a treat. She has poop up to her boobs that has already soaked through the shirt. I brace myself for what is about to come. Knowing that I have to make a good first impression being the wife of a PhD. (not that it's that important, he's smart but I am as dumb as a box of rocks, sometimes anyway) I take her to the bathroom in her carseat to spare the remaining diners from upchucking their undigested food. As I get into the bathroom I realize that the "changing station" is right next to the door and in front of the sink in a rather small three stall bathroom. Clearly a man designed this...I always tend to enjoy the changing tables that are in the stall of the handicap stalls. Macaroni Grill has a excellent changing table inside the hadicap stall, this should be duplicated in all women's restrooms. If you have had a kid, seeing a crap diaper is not a big deal, but for those who do not have kids, the first thing they see when they come into the bathroom is usually NOT a naked baby with poop up to her boobs. So I jam the carseat and diaper bag under the changing table, load her on there, remove the change of clothes and the 1/4 gallon of wipes I had to prepare me before I unleash the beast of a diaper.
Poop might not be the way to describe this diaper. Reese pretty much pooped liquid. Ah the joys of breastfed babies who are teething. My child is now buck naked on the table, and close to being covered in poop...real nice...It might have been more effective to do one of two things...if one of these had crossed my mind at the time I might have opted to do either one. Anyone would have been able to call CPS while this was going on, I am sure they discourage people from either one of these options....
1. Fill the sink with water and give her a quick improptu bath
2. Dunk her in the tiolet and flush...maybe the water would wash her off and I would not have to tough it...again thank god that I did not think of these until AFTER she was changed.
I use all but one wipe to get off all the poop from this kid. Wrap her clothes in paper towels (note to self, put plastic grocery sacks in the diaper bag, we have them in the car but also now needed in the diaper bag...I need a diaper arsenal) I use the one remaining wipe to clean my hands which were also slightly covered in poop...yes folks there was that much. She's talking to herself, laughing and having a GRAND time this whole ordeal...nothing bothers her.
Get her changed into her new outfit, by this time I think it's been about 20 minutes since I left the table to begin this process. I am sure by this time someone has sent out a search party, and the waiter has asked 4 times if we were ready to order. I am about to pack her up when I look down. Yes folks, one spot left on my finger that I somehow missed that still has poop on it. I go to the sink to wash my hands, NO SOAP...nice....so I turn the water on hot, might be better described as 3rd degree burn hot...I scrub my hands with paper towels and hot water. I am pretty sure I burned off the top layer of my skin on the one hand, I had to pull my hand out of the stream of water three times because the damn water was so hot. Poop was removed from the hands...thank god I am right handed....poop was on left hand.
So I get back to the table, Reese is chilled out in the carseat, don't ask my how but she thankfully managed not to get poop in that, just on her on body. So I am checking my hands under the table to make sure I got all the poop off my hands. I was good. I can proceed breaking some bread off the loaf to eat.
All in all it was a nice dinner...minus that small incident. I think at this point it would be more effective to from now on just take her to the car and change her white trash style in the parking lot with the trunk of the car open and her laid out back there. More surface area to spread things out and more room in the car to store that wipe arsenal I would need in times like this.
I sure hope that his boss did not see my child with that much poop seeping through her clothes, what a great first impression.

Tomorrow we start stroller strides, a walking, resistance band work out for Mom wwhile baby rides comfortably in the stroller. It's time to get serious about losing weight. My brother in law is getting married in June and I will NOT be the fat one in the picture who hasn't been about to lose the baby weight....my right thigh is about how much my future sister in law weighs so I have a lot to burn off not to look like two pigs fightin' under a blanket in every picture.